


The OT3 I didn't mean to write

by I_loved_it



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Angst, OT3, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 21:25:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_loved_it/pseuds/I_loved_it
Summary: I don't know. I read so much ot3 it just sprung forth like Athena.Spock loses memoryRings on a crying KirkConcerned McCoy





	1. Chapter 1

 

Spock wakes to upset muttering. It takes him an estimated 3.46 second to recognize the two different voices as Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy. It takes him approximately another 5.07 seconds to realize that the high-pitched beeping over their voices is coming from the monitor above his head, meaning that he must be in Medical on one of the biobeds. Further examination of his surroundings, mainly through listening to any noise outside of his immediate range, reveal that he has been placed in the private room of the Medical bay instead of one of the immediate stations. 

But why he is here at all is still a mystery. He remembers no incident recently that could have required his presence in Medical, though he recognizes that his internal clock deems much more time has passed since his last memory than he at first surmised. 

Perhaps days have passed while he was unconscious and it is too disorienting to fully recover from and analyze at his usual speed.

The Captain and Doctor are still speaking. Spock finds it taxing to focus in on the words. Instead, as a way to signal that he is awake, he attempts to open his eyes. This is an unsuccessful endeavor. 

[The last time his eyelids felt so heavy he was in the academy and had not slept and engaged in several physically and mentally taxing activities for just 3 minutes shy of 76 hours. While in that time he maintained his regular meditation schedule, he had simply concluded that sleep was less interesting than the essays he could read or scientific studies he could partake in during such time.]

Now, the second option to announce his wakefulness is to lightly squeeze the hand he had not noticed in his. The touch is so soft he would think he was imagining it were he not aware of the lack of hallucinogenic drugs in his system. 

On his first try he hardly manages to curl his fingers, but whoever is there must have been waiting for any action. There is a gasp from the Captain followed by a croaked out “Bones.”

“I see it.” Spock hears doctor McCoy walk around to his left side; after the doctor presumably checks the visual readouts for the sensors, Spock feels a calloused hand close around his left wrist. Spock could smirk if he felt more awake. The doctor’s distrustful attitude with his medical equipment is equal parts amusing as it is annoying. Surely there was no statistical backing for his inherent suspicion of readout failure? 

“You com’n back to the land of the living, Spock?” Doctor McCoy is still holding onto Spock’s wrist after having adequate time to manually check his pulse. 

Acknowledging this must refocus Spock’s brain to the contact points between himself and the other two in the room. Having no protective layer between their skin in constant contact, Spock attempts to maintain his mental shields only to realize there are none to maintain. They have disappeared. While he is reeling from the sudden observation followed by a bereft and naked feeling, his captain and doctor must misinterpret some signal because he soon has four hand on him instead of two. 

His mind is then able to take in the strong sensations rolling off of his guests.  _ Worry _ is first. Strong and bitter and chilling. After comes lighter transmissions of exhaustion and concern from both of them. How long has he been on this bed? Last he gets a different feeling from each of them. From the doctor he can sense the barest sensation of irritation. Though Spock cannot remember ever having prolonged contact with the doctor in such a strange state where his shields were inexplicably gone, he is somehow calmed by the familiarity that this emotion holds with it. He knows that if he were to manage to open his eyes, Leonard would be squinting at him. Leonard? Dr. McCoy.

The sensation he receives from the Captain is so unanticipated it leaves no time to allow for further analysis into the decided name-identification-change his brain has decided to do with Leonard. The emotion is not familiar and is certainly not calming.  _ Fear _ . It’s hot and cold all at once, and Spock has a half-second of sensation where he feels utterly alone. He reacts to this emotion too violently for a Vulcan. However, he does not consider his actions. It seems only instinct that in the face of such obvious discomfort and unnecessary emotional stress from Jim that he react and try to find and eliminate the source of his pain. 

Spock is sitting up straight, causing a dizzy spell, and squeezing the Captain’s hand before he realizes that his filing for professional names is off with another person. Jim? This will require further meditation. Yes, the captain has insisted that he ‘drop’ the official title when off the clock, but rarely has Spock’s first mental label for him been ‘Jim.’

“Woah. Hey! You don’t just go shooting up like some kind of vampire. You’re gonna give me a heart attack!” Doctor McCoy lossens his grip but moves to put pressure on Spock’s shoulders to get him to lean against the raised bed and cushions that were not in this fashion a second ago. Or were they? Spock believes he has been in some sort of emotional feedback loop since he sat up and saw the captain's eyes.

“Somebody talk to me dammit!” An angry McCoy shakes Jim by the shoulder and Spock has a second to feel like he should reach out and sooth… something. He has a strange urge to calm them both. Before he can act on it, however, Jim calms under Leonard’s hand and takes a deep breath.

“‘M fine, Bones”

Spock is momentarily relieved until he realizes that now their undivided attention is on him. Kirk, still seemingly regulating his breaths, gives a forced smile and moves his hand that’s holding Spock’s palm-to-palm, brushing his fingertips. Spock does not have the necessary focus to react as at the same time Dr. McCoy has renewed his efforts of pushing Spock to lean against the cushions behind him while speaking quickly and asking intermittent questions without giving any time for Spock to answer them even though some are obviously not rhetorical.

“C’mon man lay back would you? Stubborn Vulcan. As soon as you wake up, scrambling out of bed and on to your next science experiment. Can barely blink at us for days and then’s up and out! What were you thinkin’ anyway? Where the hell was your head! I told you to  _ lean  _ on us, dammit. Your vitals have been all-over-the-freaking-place. You know, for a while ere I thought we were gonna have to bury you? Or whatever it is Vulcans do.That was gon’be awkward, seeing as how we haven’t had the ‘family’ talk yet. I mean why would we? Most of the people from Jim’s past are shit and I really don’t think we’d get anything out of telling the ex wife anything, though I think I’d like to tell my girl. I think she worries bout me bein up here all alone in space or somethin.”

Jim makes an offended sound at that. Spock has finally yielded and allowed the doctor to pull the Medical blanket further up to cover his chest. They both seem insistent on this ritual of handholding. And, while he finds it a continuous comfort especially when he is becoming more and more confused, it is also the smallest bit unsettling.

The doctor is still muttering, “mean what am I ’sposed to say? Or Jim really. Though at least you guys are all but public record. If that father of yours knows you at all and has been paying attention he’d’ve seen that comin’. But what would he even-”

“Bones. Quit. We  _ talked  _ about this. Remember?”

“Yeah, but Jim that was about-” Dr. McCoy pauses. He wears the expression he has when he comes to a correct but undesirable conclusion and Spock wonders how he knows this. Aside from the faint link that still exists because of Leonard’s grip on his wrist, he  _ knows  _ that look without being able to refer to past experience of having seen it.

Kirk does not notice, simply saying, “And besides, Spock’s fine now. Right, Spock?”

Spock is apparently still not capable of speech. However, the doctor once again captures the captain’s attention with a grave “Jim.”

Jim’s anxiety spikes as he turns wide eyes to Doctor McCoy. “Jim, I think something’s wrong.”

_ Yes _ , Spock thinks,  _ I agree, Doctor. Many things about this scenario seem wrong _ .

Jim doesn’t seem to understand. “Wha-”

But Leonard is focused on Spock again, and his grip seems to fluctuate between two extremes: ‘clinging on for dear life’ his mother used to call it and hardly touching with his hand simply hovering over Spock’s arm.

“Spock… Spock, what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Bones?” The worried tone from the captain is disturbing to say the least.

“Hold on, Jim. Spock, can you answer the question for me? Did she jumble your brains up that bad? Are you hearing me? C’mon, I can’t- I don’t know how to helps if you can’t tell me where it hurts. I gotta know what the damage is..”

And that is highly illogical to say at this time, since Spock is experiencing no physical pain nor does he understand who ‘she’ is.

Finally, his jaw seems to unlock. “My last memory which I can properly identify is having dinner in the captain’s quarters and afterwards playing chess while discussing Starfleet reviews for the Command team-the captain was adamant that the reviews were specifically timed to ‘stress everybody out’. We completed the game and reviews and I left for my quarters at precisely 23:57 with an order from the captain to ‘get my six hours’.” 

When Spock is done, he instantly realizes there is something wrong. 

He must be mixing memories-not that he has ever done so before, but because the men standing on either side of him have both shrunk back into themselves and are now emitting such a slew of emotions that Spock is not able to decipher them before the captain abruptly pulls away entirely to cover his face with his hands and the doctor stiffles any emotion that is not a blank sort of fear or loving-pity directed at Jim. This ability the doctor has of shifting his emotional state is impressive despite the fact that it an unhealthy practice. Spock raises an eyebrow at him, but it goes unnoticed as the ship’s chief medical officer simply stares at the captain. 

There’s a muffled sob from Kirk and Spock feels his other eyebrow raise in surprise. What could have caused such an emotional outburst from the captain? Did Spock lose more than just a few days? Even so, Spock cannot find a reason he would have predicted Jim to react in this way.

“Jimmy, look at me.” Kirk makes no move to comply with Leonard’s request. The CMO obviously predicted that would be the case, for he does not change his tone when continuing. 

“Jim, we knew this could happen. He just- It messed him up bad. We could’a lost’m. But he’s alive, and sittin’ right here. I know it’s not all you hoped for, but a few days ago we both would’ve given anything just to have him open his eyes and  _ see us _ .”

Vulcans do not panic. Vulcans do not experience such intense outbursts. Spock struggles to remind himself of this as he thinks. What has happened? How many days is it from his last memory? How much time has? Why is the captain so upset? Why are there two slim rings on his left index finger? Spock has never know the captain to wear jewelry unless the mission requires it. Why is  _ this  _ what Spock is focusing on? What was it that Doctor McCoy was referencing when claiming his father should ‘see it coming’? Why had the doctor and captain up this point been adamant in basically fondling his hands? 

“Bones. Oh, Bones,  _ god.  _ I-.” When Jim looks up his eyes are red but there are no tears and he is looking only at Leonard, avoiding the man in the biobed between them.

“I know, kid.”

Spock is still reeling. He does not realize when he becomes extremely dizzy until he feels his eyes swerve to one side and he begins to lose consciousness. He hears the doctor’s “damnit” followed by a quiet, sad sound from the captain. The next sound is a Hypo being injected, Spock will have to remember to put this in the ship’s logs as a time when Doctor McCoy's concoctions made him feel  _ less  _ nauseous.  

Everything is fuzzy, and he is not sure what happens for at least four minutes.

“Jim, I love you, but you’ve either gotta pull yourself together or get the hell out. I can’t look after you both right now, and you need some sleep.”

“I- yeah” Kirk takes a deep breath to steady himself, but his eyes are still damp when they turn to Spock. “Get better, okay? We need you. Ship’s bout gone to hell, and if Bones doesn’t have somebody to argue with soon I fear for us all.” His smile is tired. 

Kirk makes an aborted move towards the side of the bed, hand raised, but instead he turns on his heel and walks out of the room.

Doctor McCoy lets out a long sigh. “He’ll come around, Spock. He’s just afraid.”

McCoy closes his eyes and rubs his nose.

“How are you feelin, Spock?”

“I am still experiencing a dizzying sensation,” he says. “And I am confused.”

The Doctor lets out a loud laugh. “Yeah man, I would be too.”

“Approximately how much time has passed between my last clear memory and the present date?” There. That didn’t sound full of trepidation.

“It’s,” Leonard coughs, though there is no contaminate in the air. “It’s been roughly 5 weeks since that night.”

Spock is attempting to determine what ‘roughly five weeks’ means when Leonard continues.

“That day, that was 19 days from when we- uhm. 22 days after Jim turned in those reviews, we came into contact with some alien race with extreme telepathic abilities. You said- you told me that they did something to your shields the minute you reported to Medbay. Jim was tryin’ to talk to them or somethin’. There wasn’t anything anybody could do about your shields so I asked you to take it easy and lean on one of us if you needed to. You reported back to the bridge. I didn’t hear anything from either of you until the next day-I guess you guys were just tryin to figure out what the hell to do. They kept being aggressive and then chillin’ out. 

"But-uhh- sorry, at 1700 hours I was told to report to the bridge. You had just  _ collapsed  _ Spock. Jim said you made a muffled sound like you were in pain and when he turned you were out of your seat and on the floor.”

He looks at the monitor above his patient’s head. “It’s been 15 days, 8 hours and 6 minutes since I got you down here and hooked up to this damn thing.”

“Doctor, what is my current condition? Are the aggressive species still in close proximity to the ship?”

“You should be fine...we came close to losing you. They, she was trying to use you as a filter or a funnel. The people were ‘mono-empathic’ or some such noise. They all functioned and felt in connection with one another, and when they came across us, each individuals who had their own feelings and even some who they couldn’t read at all, they attempted to surmise the situation through someone they found the most similar. You.”

Leonard just stares at the far wall for 20 seconds, and Spock attempts to think over what has been told to him combined with what he observed since he woke. Many things are without explanation still. 

“It was too much, obviously. You couldn’t. Jim said you told’m you had an idea… he okayed it and didn’t even ask. The bitch told us that your idea was to open up to them more. You observed that their hostility was mainly because of confusion, so the  _ logical  _ course was to alleviate that confusion. But- god, Spock- could you have clarified anyway? We could’ve thought of something else that wouldn’t  _ kill  _ you.”

“I suspect that this is a debate we can continue at a later time. I would also like to inquire as to any other important events that are missing in my memory.”

Dr. McCoy, who had been relaxing in to his natural state of argumentative lecturing, stiffens up and looks away. “That’s… I don’t know if I’m the one to talk to about- I mean you’d probably regret, anyway, but- when Jim pulls himself together you should talk to him.” While Leonard seems unwilling to talk about whatever  _ it  _ is and is staring at the wall again, he still has a semi-strong grip on Spock’s arm. Spock interprets this as him wanting to stay but being lost as for a reason why. 

“Doctor, if you-”

McCoy cuts him off, “Are you feeling dizzy or overwhelmed or anything?”

“No. If I was unconscious and in critical condition for more than several days, why am I not at Starfleet Medical?”

“Like they could do anything we can’t! All they were gonna do is take you away, off the ship. You were better off- shit. Look, you were better off closer to… home.” His shoulders drop on his last word.

“Protocol clearly states that-”

“We’re bout halfway b’tween Terra Medical Base II and Vulcan-incase we determined your problem a more Vulcan healer sort of problem.”

“That… is most illogical. To stall the mission because of one crewman is not the proper course of action.”

McCoy shrugs his shoulders and gives the illusion that he is caving into himself; it is a quite interesting practice of imagery.

“We know that, Spock.” Leonard whispers.

Spock raises his eyebrow, “Then why did the captain determine against protocol?”

“Why don’t you go on and ask him?”

“You are releasing me from your care?”

Leonard flinches, “I thought Vulcans didn’t ask obvious questions... Yes. Go on, get! If you’re functioning enough to bother me with these questions then your functioning enough to go to your quarters or go bother the captain with this.”

Spock acquiesces and starts to raise himself from the biobed, but once on his feet, he feels weak and his legs would shake were he not in control of his body. 

He is not struggling rather slightly off steady. However, Dr. McCoy notices immediately and strides over quickly to hold him up by his arms. While it is illogical, Spock is still not prepared for the bombardment of the other’s emotion.  _ Regret  _ seeps through his meager shields, “Dammit, I’m sorry Spock. C’mon, sit down.”

“I am stable now Dr. McCoy there is no need for me to once again recline.”

Leonard pauses and has all the signs of being very agitated. “Alright then! Get outta my hair why-donchu?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Posted this so i could mark the work as unfinished and not make people think that i'll leave the angst covered cliff hanger like that

Coming soon


End file.
